Ingrids voice was loud enough to cut across the room while everyone else tried their best to keep the atmosphere friendly for the children, hoping in vain that Knut would come to his senses and stop what he was doing. Helene, who was in a conversation with Robert making fun of Oliver Freddys science projects, turned around and began walking towards them...
Flirting with Holly, at the
party and in front of everyone, was bad enough, but taking his
chances with Ingrid, his niece-in-law, was crossing the line and then
some... she would lose more face now if she didn't
say anything...
"This ends now." Helenes voice is low, but snarling. Knut looks at her with surprise. "What? What did I do?"
"You've been disrespectful all afternoon. Against me. Against the family. And now Ingrid." Helene points her finger and stares at him. Hard. Something would need to terminate now, one way or another...
Ingrid still feels her pulse beating, but her anger has already begun to subside. She looks at Knut, at the way he's shrinking while being confronted with Helenes anger. She bows her head slightly to let out a gentle smile to herself. "There it is" she thinks. "Now he's getting what he deserves."
"But I was just trying to m-" Knut tries to excuse himself once more, but Helene doesn't want to hear it..
"Ah ah, don't you even try! I've had enough of your lies and lousy excuses!"
Mommy shouting at daddy has now caught Antons attention.. he doesn't know what is going on, but something is wrong here, very wrong... mommy is talking with a kind of voice she has never talked with before, a scary, angry voice. And daddy, who would usually have a funny answer to anything to make mommy laugh is now silent and doesn't want to look at mommy.
They're
acting like strangers, like they aren't his parents anymore, but have
become.. someone else, someone he doesn't understand. Why is mommy
so angry? Why is daddy acting so strange? He wants to shout for them,
to shout their names.
Mommy!
Daddy!
He
can feel the words in his throat, but they won't enter his mouth to
produce sound. They can't. They are to heavy. They can only sink
down, down, down into his stomach and he can only sink with them. He
wants for mommy and daddy to return, to smile at each other, to turn
around, to smile at him, say everything is ok and to give him a hug,
but they aren't.. he's not even there, and neither are they.
He doesn't want to look at them anymore and walks away. Maybe grandpa Ingmar is still himself.. maybe he can tell him why mommy and daddy are acting this way and what's going on... maybe grandpa can give him a hug...
After giving him in Helene turns her back on Knut for a while, and notices Anton walking away. Maybe she should have kept her face after all, not for herself this time, but for her son....She had completely destroyed his birthday now... and this was all Knuts fault! All of it! What he had made her do! That fucking asshole!
"You know what? I am so
done with you!" Helenes voice hasn't softened one bit.
Everything was ruined now! Everything!
"You're pathetic!
So transparently pathetic! Do you really think you're charming!?
Really!? Do you really think that's what this about!?" Helene
clenches her fists and her arms are flailing wildly around.
"No! This is about you being a coward! A big enough coward to fuck around behind my back, but to much of a coward to stand by the life you've chosen!"
This isn't what Ingrid had pictured when she thought he was getting what he deserved.. this is something else. Ingrid swallows as she watches Helene lose it. What just happened to good old auntie Helene? She has turned into something completely unrecognizable. She is no longer her best friend and aunt with whom she could share a drink to discuss books or the importance of enjoying the finer, more expensive things that life had to offer.. none of that seemed to matter right now..
Then it's as if it suddenly dawns
on Helene too what she just said and what just happened.. The sound
of her own voice echoing with such untamed anger through the room.
The piercing words, naked and irreversible. The faces that surround
her. Ranveigs tight mouth, Ingrids concerned gaze, Knuts mother
Eirins contempt, her own mother Fridas shame. The whispers, the
words.. her son!
What
have I done?
Not just said, but done! Torn apart! Exposed!
Shattered something that can never be whole again!
A
vision starts to grow in her mind... a vision of a life falling apart
in all directions. A home forever divided and child learning to
tiptoe around their parents, counting down to the next explosion... a
name that will forever be tied to this day.
"I...
I'm..."
Helene begins to form the words in her mouth, but
is interrupted by Holly who now saw her chance to let it be known how
she was feeling about it all. Supposedly. Everyone had seen how Holly
flirted with Knut earlier, and even kissed him. And everyone knows
that Holly is married to Mikael, so she was nowhere near as innocent
as she would like herself to be...
"You're bloody unbelievable, Knut! Do you think this is okay?
Do you think you can just do what you want, and then stand there like
a dumb kid when there are consequences?"
Helene looks away, not sure how to deal with this situation... she
was just about to give her apology, not to Knut, but to everyone else
in the room. To Anton for ruining his birthday... and to herself.
Knut deserved it, but everyone else didn't... but instead Holly had
rushed forward to place herself in the spotlight.
"You used me to, you know." Holly continues. "Promised nothing and made it feel like something. And then you leave me standing here to receive all the stares as if this was my mess!"
Helene closes her eyes for a second. Who does Holly really think she is!? Who was it that took all the stares? It certainly wasn't Holly.. there was no need for her to draw this kind of attention to herself! Helene isn't sure how much this will really help Holly, but then again it does prove that everything Helene has said is right...
Ingrid can only stand there watching. This is no longer something for her to meddle with... and if Hollys husband Mikael learns about this, and he will, there might be a little hope that Mikael will become available in the future.. if Ingrid still has some feelings for him, and if she can somehow find a way out of her current relationship with Hogne Nielsen.. that is, if she wants to..
"You're not even worth the fuss!" Holly says, while turning her back on Knut to signal her disgust. Helene still stands there, immobile on the floor. Everything is now a mess around her and she doesn't know where to look, who to turn to or what to say... Knut notices and thinks this is his opportunity to slither away from the situation..
That's when all of Helenes emotions come together into one gigantic existential punch to knock away her last little shield of dignity and she begins to cry. Not loudly, more like an involuntary sob at first... then another.. and another until there's no mistaking..
When Holly hears Helene crying, the sound cuts through her mind,
different from anything else that has been said so far. How could she
have... how could Knut have done this! There isn't a bad bone in
Helenes body, Holly is sure of it, but Knut... if there's anything
like a good bone in him.. it would all have to be superficial.. A
fraud, that's what he is. Using others for his own ends... how
recognizable. A politicians mind never changes, they're all greedy,
evil and power hungry, just like...
Knuts reaction to Helenes tears only confirms what she already knows, but still...
"Helene... get a grip on yourself!"
Unbelievable. Holly can only stare blankly into the air in disbelief. What was that!? Not even an ounce of understanding in his voice.. and Eirin is now standing right by his side. He is her son, but she cannot.. she has to say something to Helene to apologize for her sons behaviour!
But Eirin says absolutely nothing, as if she can't
find the words to say.. and Helene.. she ignores Knut and turns to
Eirin.. to brag about her latest high score at the arcade.. Holly
can't make any sense of this, she finds the situation yet again to be
incredibly infuriating so she decides to lash out at Knut once
more...
"You know what you are!?" Holly shouts. "You're
green! But not the good kind! You're the vile, vicious kind! The kind
that comes from envy, egoism and pure rottenness! You're just like..
"
Holly pauses for a moment, unable to complete the
sentence. There was definitely something familiar there about
Knuts tendency to use others for his own ends. Holly has seen this
before, and she hates it now, just as much as she hated it then...
"And the worst part is, that's my favourite colour! And people like you, you're completely ruining it!" she continued. Her words were carefully chosen, as if she had been practicing them her whole life...
Ingrid has completely given up on understanding the situation by now, and has retreated to re-read an old classic, "Murder in Pleasantville", one that is in almost everyones bookshelf, whether they want to admit to it or not...
Meanwhile in the living room the remaining family and guests finds themselves in the living room doing their best to save the scraps of Antons birthday party by playing video games with the volume on the tv set to the loudest setting they can in order to drown out the arguing happening in the hallway, but not so loud that it becomes to uncomfortable...
Well, thats almost all of them, except Ranveigs son Robert-Bråge, who has left the drama behind to practice chess on the upstairs balcony, and Helenes father Egil, who is also upstairs hanging out with Bjørn-Yngve in his room. Bjørn-Yngve has been upstairs the whole time and is currently unaware of his fathers inappropriate actions and the arguing that followed...
..and then there's Eivinds son Walter, who Anton didn't want to play with, because "he's weird", who is currently helping himself to a meal in the dining room and overhearing it all.. Walter has sort of become used to shutting out the surroundings when things get a little unpleasant around him, which most often happens when his mother Sofie has one of her bad days, or when his older teenage sister Kleopatra wakes up on the wrong foot and decides to unleash her wrath upon anyone unfortunate enough to be nearby...
Holly is relentless now and continues to berate and shout at Knut..
"Do you even think about what you're doing!? At your home!?
You family!? Your kids, Knut!?"
Helene is still
doing her best to ignore it all right now and has changed the topic
completely again, as if it was deliberate.
"My car, the
new one that is, it's actually surprisingly fast. People won't
believe it, but it goes really well uphill." Helenes smile is
tense. Eirin tries to show enthusiasm, though she couldn't really
care less about Helenes car. Still, in all this madness, Eirin thinks
she could need all the support she can get.. and to think that her
own son is the one responsible for all this..
Helene really can't take it any
more.. As much as she would like to give everyone the impression that
her car is the best and that it can pull the weight and then some
while going uphill, the truth is that its all a wreck, a car
accident..
For so long she has done her best to be in control,
gripping the steering wheel tightly, to present a perfect outwardly
image of her family.. at all costs. Her husband, the promising
politician, herself, best selling author and famous painter, and of
course, her brilliant children..
She can't take this situation
any more and without saying a word, she retreats to the laundry
room.. opens the laundry machine, throws in a bunch of random
clothes, pushes some buttons and twists a knob without really
noticing what she's doing.
Then she just stands there.
The
sound of the water filling the machine... its mechanical whirring
when a cycle begins. Then it stops. Silence. Then it starts again.
Finally something predictable. Some kind of order in all this chaos.
Something purely mechanical.. and trustworthy. She can't remember if
she used detergent or not, but it doesn't matter....
For so long she has lived with Knut, stood by his side. An
amazing father, always caring and attentive to his kids.. during his
good periods. For so long they have tried to cover up his health
problems, always having to come up with alternative explanations as
to why he showed up to work in his swimwear. No, he wasn't talking to
himself.. he's just a very important person, you know, not his fault
he gets so many phone calls at all hours of the day...
All of
this, it was a struggle, but somehow it seemed manageable.. and
finally, since last summer when Ranveig had finally managed to
convince him to seek some professional help – against his mother
Eirins, and even Helenes wishes – because what if this came out,
that her husband is.. that would completely ruin the facade of a
successful family.. but it didn't. It made it easier, better.. for a
while..
People didn't gossip as much as she had feared. People
understood, some even respected him more for it. .and those that
didn't.. they never mattered much anyway.. It was a fresh start, and
he had become much more interested in certain... bedroom activities..
which meant that, since Anton was still sleeping in their room, they
had get a little creative.. but it was all in good fun, and some days
Helene almost couldn't keep up.. and somedays she just wanted sit on
the couch and play video games.. and maybe that's when it began.. or
had he always been this way? Looking at other women... well, no harm
in checking the menu as they say, as long as the meals are consumed
at home.. but then some other rumours began to circulate.. and
tonight she had seen it all before her eyes, in front of everyone, at
the worst possible moment..
Helenes blank expression turned to a
frown. She felt like clenching her fists. She felt like putting her
hands tightly around him, not his body, but his neck. But she
couldn't do that, not here, not in front of everyone. She couldn't do
that.. for the children. With fast, determined steps she walked out
of the laundry room.
Fuck that man. Fuck what everyone else would say, fuck the rumours and her familys reputation. Fuck it all. The cat was out of the bag, claws stretched out and it was burning.. She was so out of herself, so furious, so angry now, she hadn't even noticed that once she left Eirin to do laundry, she had gone into one of her psychotic breaks again..
..but Helene couldn't shout at him forever, and in spite of all
the anger there was still some doubt in her. Was this really the
right thing to do? To lash out at him? What if this happened because
she hadn't been attentive enough? What if she had been to
self-absorbed? Not caring enough about his needs, not taking enough
care of the children, leaving him stressed out and looking for fun
elsewhere? What if this car crash that was still happening was her
fault? Holly certainly didn't seem to think so, as she continued to
lay all the blame on him, but Helene all of a sudden wasn't sure..
and felt like leaving the situation again..
Maybe her father Egil could be of help for once.. As she walked over to him to talk, her sister Kathrine came down the stairs after having retreated to an upstairs bathroom, and headed straight over to Knut. Holly had eventually stopped cursing out Knut, she had probably done enough now to make people believe she was innocent and that it was all his fault.
"Don't come any closer! I haven't done anything!"
Eirins voice is now the loudest in the room as she clenches her fists
against her demons and commands them to stay away. "Leave me
alone!" The contrast is stark to Kathrines soft voice as she
hides a bouquet of flowers behind her back.
"Knut.. maybe
you could need these right now...". Knut is starting to feel the
pressure from the people in the room. This is to much... he can't
accept these flowers. Not from his wifes sister, even if she means it
well, not in front of everyone, not after he's been constantly yelled
at from Holly and Helene...
So he does his best to respectfully decline the offer. Holly gasps in shock. Is she flirting with him now!? Is that seriously whats going on!? Holly can't believe it...
"I've had it with you people! What the fuck is this madhouse!?"
Now Hollys
voice is once more the loudest in the room. The word madhouse
echoes through the room and makes Eirin turn around towards the
others, slowly, her gaze shifting across the room. Where they..
talking about... her? Was she... the..? Was she the..
madhouse?
"Are you....?" Eirins voice was soft,
almost inaudible, and immediately interrupted by Hollys sharp, loud
voice.
"What the hell is this!? Is this supposed to be a birthday party!? For a child!? This isn't normal! None of this is normal! I'm done here! I'm completely done here!"
Hollys face is a hard frown as she marches towards the door, right
past Eirin as if she wasn't there. Without looking back she rushes
through the door leaving everyone behind in an unpleasant, awkward
silence..
She has to stop for a while on the porch to catch a breather before she can head home to her husband Mikael and pretend nothing special has happened.. but no doubt will word about what went down at this party spread and some version of the truth, not necessarily the actual truth, will see the light of day...
Holly felt like she had just
left a hurricane behind. Outside was a calm, pleasantly warm summers
day. Chirping birds, the occasional car driving by. Someone was
starting up a lawn mower a few houses a way. Kids playing, a dog
barking at the mailman or some random passerby.
Just a normal,
peaceful and quiet day in a regular neighbourhood in any small town
anywhere in the world.. but inside the house, though it was silent
right now, except for the sound of the video game and Helenes quiet
conversation with her father about political structures, choices made
and who gets to carry the consequences, tall clouds loomed around
them, which could only mean that they weren't done yet, and that
possibly the worst was yet to come...
The first sign that the storm
was picking up again came when Kathrine, who thought she had to say
something to fill this eerie vacuum they found themselves in..
"This
got a little intense" she said softly. "Maybe we should
just.."
Knut backs away. "No. This isn't right." What was she trying to do now? He felt the urge to give in, but he couldn't do it right here, right now...
"What?" Kathrine asks, pretending to be confused. "We're of course not gonna do it right h-"
"You're right." he says, before extending his arms in an attempt to give her a hug that would be ambiguous at best.
"No, no, what are you doing?" she says while backing
away. "I meant that we could just find a private place to, you
know, talk for a while."
"What do you take me for? Helene is my sister. I meant it as an offer to help you. To find a way for you to make things right again, if that would even be possible by now." Kathrine continued, now sounding more stern, as if she was actually offering to help and Knut was the clumsy one misunderstading everything again.
In the back of the room Helene had kept an eye on Knut the whole time and his attempt at hugging Kathrine had not gone by unnoticed. She abruptly left the conversation with her father to walk rapidly across the room, straight ahead, with heavy steps, chugging along like an accelerating, unstoppable freight train, commanding Kathrine to step back, out of harms way...
Anton was still sitting on the couch, as if paralyzed. He knew
mom was angry with dad again, but didn't want to watch, hear, or be
anywhere near whatever was going to happen next. If this house only
would've had a basement, thats where he would've been, to hide and
take cover from all the fury that was about to be
unleashed...
"Enough!"
Helenes voice was a loud, distorted roar of the kind that had the
potential to make walls shake and windows shatter. No doubt this was
already a broken home, and now it was about to be completely
leveled..
"You!" Helene began, sounding more like a growling demon than anything else. "You SWINE! This marriage is OVER!" For a brief moment Helene was almost terrified by the sound of her own voice, but this was it. There was no turning back now.
"I'm divorcing you. Right here. Right now."
Kathrine was powerless in this situation. This was the worst possible outcome and there was nothing right now she could do about it. Did she really contribute to this? Why couldn't she keep her mouth shut? Why did she have to talk to Knut now? She should have known this is the way it would go.. especially since she tried to hand him flowers! After all that he had done, flowers was probably the last of what he deserved.. as the older sister, she felt a responsibility to look after Helene, but what had she done... She had ruined it all! She wished there was something she could do right now, but there was nothing. Nothing at all.
"Mom!? Dad!? What are you doing!?" Bjørn-Yngves voice was trembling. "We're a family, right? We.... we...."
Bjørn-Yngve had sensed that there was a strange atmosphere
earlier when he came downstairs and saw his mother walk with towards
the laundry romm with a blank expression on her face.. and then all
his worst fears and then some about this birthday party came true as
he witnessed Helene shouting at Knut, while his grandma Eirin was
shouting, worse than ever before, at something he couldn't see.. so
he knew that his father had done something wildly inappropriate. The only thing missing now, was Helenes mother Frida getting
drunk, but she was surprisingly sober, all things considered...
He couldn't hold it together anymore, because if it was already
worse than he had feared earlier.. this, his parents divorcing right
in front of him, this knocked a hole in the floor below him, and the
home that previously didn't have a basement, now had one.. but it
wasn't a safe place to hide or take cover. It was a place of sadness,
a cold place of fear and desperation... A place of abandonment and
loneliness.
Whatever he was
feeling, or not feeling, it all turned to rage now. This was all
Kathrines fault! Why would she bring flowers to his
dad!? She was not his aunt anymore! She was a witch, an evil,
evil witch, and she could stay far, far away from his
dad!
Helene looks at her son. It felt like she was being stabbed. Again. The fury in her was dying out and now she had to deal with the aftermath. There was only one person in this room she wanted to hurt. It was not her children. This was not a consequence that she wanted..
